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Putting on a Thick Skin
I've often heard the phrase, " ... have thick skin". I never really knew what it meant, or maybe I still don't know, until yesterday.
I was on my way to work - riding the Metro Rail - and it only take me a total of 10 minutes from the time I lock my door to the house to the time I clock into work on the 22nd floor. As usual, I check my horoscope (just for fun) on my mobile as I have it downloaded daily to my phone. It read: Aquarius, today may be the last straw that falls on your back and it won't be pretty.
I am glad I read it for it made me prepare for what was to come for the day.
I will not go into details as I realize that details of the crappy shit that goes on in nursing is really not important. It is the same crappy shit that goes on in any other job where you provide service to the public - i.e. they feel it is their right to treat you like shit because hey, they are paying for the service.
Yesterday, perhaps was the last straw and it just dawned on me (as I am such a late learner) that things on the floor/department will never change unless the management changes - and I don't see that happening anytime soon.
As the hours dragged and my legs started to hurt more and people just kept on complaining how long it took for things to get done, and as I was NOT IN THE MOOD to explain the logistics of the staffing on our floor and the acuity levels of the patients hence the time it took to perform any one nursing task, I just had to simply grin and bear it and apologize like hell for the inconvenience. In the meantime, it was 4 pm in the afternoon and I still had not from the time I arrived at 6:45am - eaten breakfast, lunch, pee'd, sat down or had time to drink water. 3 more hours to go until the next shift started at 7 pm so I resigned to continue more of this abuse and decided to maintain such a fake smile and a thick skin?.
I realized that has I did this for the remainder of the 3 hours, my whole nursing changed. I was less empathetic, more distant, but a lot more relaxed and able to make it to the end of the shift.
Wow, so this is how they do it. Those nurses that remain in nursing for many, many years, and still stay intact. They just don't give of themselves! That is it. That is the key. They keep themselves distant, unattached, and just do what it takes to get the job done, the shift over with and cover their butts to prevent liability damages. Hmmmmm, easy enough. This must be part of what it means to have thick skin.
I must think this thru. As much as I can see the advantages of having developing thick skin for the job, thick skin may not be the way to go with a vocation such as this. I suppose it IS time to leave and find another area.
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Latest entries: Bigger, Not Necessarily Better
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To date 13 Comment(s)
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(17.8.04 10:28)
there is such a thing as compassion fatigue.this is something everyone in the caring professions experience one time or another.it is time to take a rest when u feel it coming on. take a break. have a holiday, then if/when u come back to it u will be refreshed and enthusiastic again.
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(17.8.04 14:47)
i know just what you mean.
not just at work, but in everyday life, if you're not happy/satisfied/at one with yourself then how can you keep up the happy, caring attitude towards others. it'll last for a while but then it will get on top of you and you will *stop* caring.
ok, so you won't actually *stop* caring, but you'll show it less. to do this makes us, humans, find things easier to deal with; not thinking about it, but just getting on with what has to be done.
i know all about this at the moment, its how i've been in my job for the last few months. targets - who cares, doing the best for the customer - whatever, doing some work - as if! it's time for a change for me. i've got my time off till the end of this month, then i just got news yesterday that i have my promotion, so two weeks back in my current job and i'll be moving on. goodluck to you d-f' like my other comment today, let the winds of change sweep you away and go with it - just make sure you have fun and stay happy along the way!
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(17.8.04 15:32)
sometimes in life thick skin is what we really need to survive...
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(17.8.04 22:59)
I agree entirely with Panicroom. I ve a thick skin, this saves me from people wanting my crown...well in fact, it should in case someone would try to take it...
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(18.8.04 00:20)
gametes69: You are once again right, and if brightfield were to be here to read this entry, he would probably advise the same. I understand this compassion fatigue, as I know you KNOW first hand of this as well. Yes, soon I will take off to the Gulf of Mexico and put my body in the cool blue waters to wash away the fatigue and come back refreshed! Thank you for this reminder!
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(18.8.04 00:21)
tpreece01: thank you again for your comment. Yes, it is sad that we get to this state .. but I am trying to avoid going deeper into it. Wish me luck.
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(18.8.04 00:22)
PanicRoom:  ( This is true and at the same time sad .. I can see the practicality in having thick skin. Well said indeed.
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(18.8.04 00:24)
Negrito: I did not think Your Royal Highness of Grito'esqueness, the King of Paris would develop this thick skin. If anyone should try to take your crown away, you must tell me before hand as I DO have important and powerful friends of the Italian persuasion that can certainly help to remove these Crown Stealers! If you know what I mean ;oD
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(19.8.04 00:19)
when your personality developed it prevented you from being naturally thick skinned. you may be able to act the thick skin for a while, but at crucial times the defence will let you down. anyone who is creative, a painter or writer or the like is unlikely to be thick skinned - it would be a mis-match. i am not following you around all day, but i would bet that your real personality makes a lot of people feel better and you're not noticing because you've become jaded. maybe look at what you can offer and get some career advice about moving into a different field in the area of what you're trained in. if all else fails, set your sights on changing careers, but i'll bet you'll end up doing something altruistic 
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(19.8.04 07:29)
TheSTEVEDAQ : good advice with much insight! yes, a never could wear the mask of a THICK SKIN very well. It quickly melts to tears - nice tears. This Friday I will be going to the Gulf of Mexico for some R&R and will do much thinking when I am there. Thank you for your thoughtful comment!
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